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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24590032">I Like Birds (And I Like Other Animals Too)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/bellarose_writes/pseuds/bellarose_writes'>bellarose_writes</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Ben Hanscom Loves Beverly Marsh, Eddie Kaspbrak Lives, Established Ben Hanscom/Beverly Marsh, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gay Eddie Kaspbrak, Gay Richie Tozier, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Mentions of Sex, Post-Canon Fix-It, Post-IT Chapter Two (2019), Recovery, Richie Tozier is a Mess, Stanley Uris Lives, Stanley Uris Loves Birds, Stanley Uris Loves Patricia Blum Uris, Stanley Uris-centric, Suicide Attempt, The Losers Club Love Each Other (IT), cursing</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 06:23:01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>14,391</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24590032</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/bellarose_writes/pseuds/bellarose_writes</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Stanley Uris understands birds. They’re simple and predictable, no surprises and disappointments. However, Stanley Uris struggles to understand people, with their unpredictability and complexity. </p>
<p>After Derry, the Losers come to visit Stanley and his wife in Atlanta. The guilt pains him of what happened, and as he’s alone with each of them, he tries his best to understand the adults they have become and forgive himself for the mistakes he has made.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ben Hanscom/Beverly Marsh, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Patricia Blum Uris/Stanley Uris</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>61</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I Like Birds (And I Like Other Animals Too)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hello everyone! I spent a long time on this fic and I actually love it so much! I haven't written a Stanley centric fic before, but after everyone telling me how much they loved how I wrote Stan, I thought I would give it a go! I really hope you enjoy it x</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span class="u"> <b>STANLEY &amp; THE CANARY</b></span>
</p>
<p>-</p>
<p><em> Unlike the rest of the birds in the finch family, Canaries are lonesome creatures, who don’t care for socialising with other birds or people. </em> <em>The canary symbolises peace and freedom even though the majority are caged, something started by miners as they used them as an early warning of danger. The Canary would die and save the miner’s life.  </em></p>
<p>-</p>
<p>Stanley Uris was a simple man, that’s what he told people when they asked what he liked to do in his spare time. He would always say “<em> simple pleasures for a simple man! </em> ” And his wife would always interrupt by saying “ <em> but not a simple mind! </em>” Which would normally create a laugh within the group they were chatting too. </p>
<p>In fact, Stanley would go as far as saying he was a very intellectual man, far from a simple mind. He could delight you with a conversation about worldly topics or debate you in today’s politics. In his spare time, he liked to read or watch documentaries, always trying his best to keep up with the times. On a Saturday, he would do the crossword and on a Wednesday he would do a sudoku. He would sit and do puzzles in the evening while his wife hummed along to the radio and painted. It was a quiet life which Stanley didn't discuss much. </p>
<p>But mostly, Stanley Uris liked bird watching. He didn’t tell people that. It was like the private little thing that he got to do alone. It wasn’t just bird watching, it was actually ornithology, which is the study of birds. He had books upon books that he flicked through. His favourite was a book from his childhood, which he couldn't quite remember where he got it from. It was a hardback with a hued red colour which was a lot older then Stanley was, with hundreds of crisp pages which were faded brown on the edges but still brilliant white on the inside. He would gently turn the pages of his prize possession, gazing in ore at the beautifully drawn diagrams and read the words that spoke to him more than anything else he had ever read. The author of the book discussed each bird: their wingspan, where they could be found, even their height and weight. The author also wrote about the symbolism and what the reader could learn from the bird shown in the painted diagram, which Stanley didn't care for much. But he still read the words over and over again, feeling safe when he read them and sometimes he would even mutter them out loud when he knew no one was around. For some reason, the words eased him and reminded him of a time he was freer, even if he couldn't place when that was.</p>
<p>On weekends, he would kiss his wife on the cheek and drive out to one of the Nation Parks, normally by the Chattahoochee River, and walk around till he found a place to sit and look up at the sky through his binoculars. He would sometimes bring one of his books with him, but never the one that was his prize possession in fear that it could get ruined. </p>
<p>Stanley wasn’t sure why he didn’t tell people he liked bird watching, but every time he thought about talking about birdwatching with anyone but his wife, it would bring up an anxiety deep within him and he would shake his head and not tell people. Sometimes, only sometimes, the night after a day of birdwatching he would have nightmares of a giant bird chasing him and he would wake up in a cold sweat, telling his wife he was never going bird watching again in a panicked and tunnel-visioned state. But after a couple of days, he would forget all about it and drive somewhere quiet to watch the skies again through his binoculars his wife bought him for his 40th birthday. </p>
<p>The thing was, he understood birds. He understood why they did what they did, they were predictable. Patty would sometimes laugh when he said that because she said birds don’t do much, and Stanley would reply, “<em> that's the point.” </em>Stanley would watch them when they migrated or when they nested, he would use his binoculars to look over their feathers and listen to their mating calls. Birds were simple, the same as they were in his books. No surprises, no disappointments, it all just made sense.</p>
<p>Something that Stanely Uris didn’t understand was people. People were complicated and difficult. He struggled to understand what was happening in people’s heads and that made him feel woozy.</p>
<p>Stanley loved his wife because she would always tell him exactly how she was feeling as she knew that’s what she needed to do with her closed up husband. Although she got close to knowing her husband and she was sure she knew everything there was to know, Stanley kept some things deep down within himself, afraid to speak out or really let people in. He decided long ago that was the way he was going to keep in. </p>
<p>They didn’t have a social circle, per se. Patty’s parents distanced themselves from them when they found out Stanley was Jewish, which was somewhat predictable, and his own parents died many years ago. Their family was just the two of them, and they were happy with that. They had some friends, but they never talked about deep topics or emotions, which Stanely was very thankful for. Sometimes his friends would gossip and Stanely would do his best to keep up, but he never understood what was happening. One of the women would say “<em> he’s such a man, </em>” and they would all laugh at Stanley for not understanding the drama or being able to keep up with the people they talked about, but Patty would always give his arm a reassuring squeeze as she knew it was more than that. At his job being an accountant, he always smiled gently at people and kept it professional, never showing people if he was feeling anxious or angry about the day's work or the people being incompetent at their jobs. He would keep the feelings so far down, nobody would bat an eyelid at him. </p>
<p>Stanley had in his head that people were unpredictable, so he stayed predictable. Simple, kind, loving, Stanley Uris. With his simple life and cardigans that he wore on a weekend, and the smiles he gave interns round his work building, and a wife who thought his biggest secret was that he loved bird watching. </p>
<p>Which is probably why his suicide attempt was more shocking. </p>
<p>Stanley didn’t remember much. He remembered picking up the phone and feeling his world collapse in on itself. He remembered looking at his wife in the eyes, telling her he needed to go get a bath. He remembered her asking if he was ok, and Stanely kissed her on the cheek and climbed the steps to the bathroom. He remembered the sound of the water running as he lay out his clothes neatly, putting his wedding ring and his father watch on top. As he shut his eyes, he remembered seeing a young boy with a kid smile, making him promise he would be brave.</p>
<p>What Stanley wasn’t expecting was his eyes to bat open, the stale smell disinfectant in his nose and his skin to feel ice cold. He couldn’t see for a few moments with the white light beaming down on him, but it didn’t take long to work out he was in a hospital. Patty was there when he woke up, she cried and cried. Her normally neat hair stuck up, unbrushed and unshowered. Her normally ironed clothes had been swapped for a large hoodie, with New York State University written across the chest, which once belonged to Stanley. Her red-painted fingernails were chipped from where she had been anxiously scratching them, her wedding ring still on her finger and Stanley’s ring round her neck on a chain. Stanley didn’t say anything. He just let her hold his hand while she sobbed. It took him 24 hours of being awake until he spoke. The first words being, “<em> I need to call someone </em>” </p>
<p>He spoke to Mike in a choked and hoarse voice, pacing up and down the room. Patty watched him nervous, biting her fingernails, unaware of what was happening. When Mike said that Pennywise was gone, that’s when Stanely finally cried. He fell to his knees in the hospital room and sobbed. His wife cradled him as he listened to Mike’s soft voice and Stanely could barely get the words out to say “<em> I’m sorry” </em>. </p>
<p>When Stanley went home, he felt relieved. Obviously everything was still going to be there: his unfinished jigsaw, his bird books, his Sunday paper. But he was glad to see it all. His work gave him sick leave and nobody texted him to check how he was doing, which he was extremely thankful for. The last thing he wanted to do was see people and for them to say they were sorry for what happened. Patty stayed quiet as she brought him soup in bed or sat next to him as they watched TV or even when she changed his bandages. Stanley watched her silently drift through the house, missing when she used to hum along to the radio and the way her dimples appeared in her cheeks when she grinned. It was like watching a ghost of the past and Stanley couldn’t stand it. But even though it hurt him, he still couldn’t open his mouth to speak. </p>
<p>Which is why his heart raced so much when Mike rang him to say they were all coming to see him. Mike had been ringing him every couple of days, catching him up on Eddie’s injuries or the group gossip. Stanley would sit and listen to Mike’s voice, sometimes saying, <em> “yes,” “no”, “really?” </em> or even some times, “ <em> what the fuck.” </em> Even when they all began to go there separate ways, Mike still called him to tell him everything that was going through his brain. Stanley realised Mike had spent so long not talking to anyone, it must feel nice being able to blab about what was ever on your mind to people who actually wanted to listen. One day, Stanley was sat in bed as his wife folded clothes into the chest of drawers when Mike had said: “ <em> we’ve all decided to come to see you! </em> ” Stanley had suddenly bottled upright, making Patty frown at him as she held Stanley’s shirts that he hadn’t worn for 6 weeks but she still kept washing them. He panicked, but he didn’t say that. Mike said, “ <em> it’s about time you get off bedrest and see the gang again.” </em></p>
<p>Two months after Derry they came to visit. The days leading up to it, Stanley paced up and down his bedroom, his wife watching him with careful eyes. She didn’t ask why he was nervous because she knew why. Or she thought she knew why. Stanley was nervous for the reasons Patty thought because he didn’t fare well with social gatherings, let alone meeting new people. Technically they weren’t new, but he had no idea who to expect. He had only spoken to Mike on the phone so he didn’t even know what their voices sounded like.  But it was more than that. There was a pang of lurking guilt in his stomach that he knew he would have to address at some point. </p>
<p>Stanley was thankful when Mike said he would be the first to arrive. Patty insisted on picking them all up from the airport, but because they were arriving over the span of a day, they all told her not to worry, they would just get taxis to the house. It was morning time when Stanley heard a knock on the door he jumped up like a puppy and raced over, taking a deep breath before he opened it. Stanley wasn’t sure who was going to be on the other side.</p>
<p>“Holy shit,” Stanley muttered. Mike was grown now, he was actually quite tall. Broad shoulders, lines across his face with a few grey hairs tucked behind his ears. But the smile was exactly the same. Stanley could’ve picked the familiar smile out from a crowd. Mike laughed as he pulled him into a tight hug and they stayed like that for a while. Stanley couldn't remember the last time he had hugged someone like this. He buried his face deep into Mike's chest and they rocked each other, both of their eyes becoming watery. Stanley pulled away, keeping his hands on Mike's surprisingly muscular arm, grinning as he looked Mike up and down. “Come in, you’ve got to meet my wife!” </p>
<p>A couple of hours later, it was Ben and Beverly’s turn to arrive. Stanley opened the door again, unaware of what he was going to see, and his eyes went wide and he raised his eyebrows when he saw Ben. </p>
<p>“No way,” Stanley said sarcastically. </p>
<p>“Alright, fuck off.” Ben laughed as he pulled Stanley into a hug. Stanley was engulfed by Ben’s body, his chest solid like a rock, as Ben wrapped his arms around Stanley. He gently pulled away and Stanely caught eyes with Beverly. Beverly’s hair was still a wild tone of ginger but not as curly and her lips still curled when she smiled. There was a familiar look in her eyes that made Stanley feel warm. He hugged her, smelling the faint smell of cigarette smoke and perfume, her hair tickling his nose as it always used to. </p>
<p>Then it was Richie, who arrive early afternoon. As soon as Stanley opened the door he was met with a goofy grin and wide arms. </p>
<p>“Stan the man!” Richie yelled in excitement.  He hadn’t changed a single bit. His hair was a mess as it fluttered in the air, his wonky large glasses hung at the end of his noise. He looked like he was dressed for a beach holiday, not a holiday in Atlanta. Stanley stared for a moment, unsure what to say as he looked Richie up and down. “You don’t like what you see, Stanny.”</p>
<p>“Fucking hell, you’re still annoying?” Stanley groaned and Richie grinned and stepped forward to pull him into a tight hug, even though Stanley was stiff against him. </p>
<p>“Of course I am, baby.” Richie cooed as he swayed them both, Stanley relaxing and hugging him back. </p>
<p>Then was Eddie. The sky was beginning to become an amber colour when Stanley heard the car pull up so he raced outside to help Eddie with his bags. The first thing Eddie did was insist he was fine in an angry tone to both Stanley and the taxi driver who was trying to help Eddie pull his bags out of his car. But then as soon as he caught eyes with Stanley, Eddie’s face completely relaxed. A small smile crept across his lips, a glisten in his eyes as he looked Stanley up and down, shaking his head in disbelief. </p>
<p>“Holy shit, look at you.” Eddie murmured. </p>
<p>“It’s good to see you in once piece,” Stanley smirked. </p>
<p>“I could say the same about you.” Eddie laughed as he stepped forward to hug Stanley. As Stanley gently hugged him, he made sure he didn’t put pressure on Eddie’s chest, but Eddie pulled him in tighter and dug his face into the crook of Stanley's neck.</p>
<p>And then, the person Stanley had been dreading, was Bill. Stanley wondered whether Bill had arrived last on purpose. Night had fallen when he finally heard the knock on the door, he felt relief and also a pain in his stomach. Stanley opened the door slowly and looked the man up and down that stood in front of him. Bill was smaller then he had expected, his hair was floppy and moving slightly in the breeze. He had lines under his eyes and his skin was more tan, but Stanley could see it was Bill. His eyes were the same. Deep and brown, saying more than his words ever could. </p>
<p>“Bill…” Stanley managed to utter out. </p>
<p>“Hey, Stan.” Bill smiled. Bill took a step in and pulled Stanley into a tight hug. It felt familiar and warm. Like when you tasted sweets from your childhood. It brought Stanley back to a time where he would cry with laughter, where he would not care about riding on the back of someone's bike, where he was brave enough to jump off a cliff into water, where Stanley had Bill as a protector. Stanley pulled away, seeing Bill was going to say something.</p>
<p>“Come on, they're all waiting for you to order a takeaway,” Stanley said before Bill could say anything. Bill smiled as him and nodded. </p>
<p>They spent the night catching each other up on their lives, talking about what they had missed and the plans for the future. Topics that didn’t come up were as followed: <em> Pennywise, Stanley’s suicide attempt, what happened in Derry. </em>They did talk about Derry though, but just the stories for when they were kids. In a group setting, Stanley felt like he could thrive as he stuck close to his wife and chimed in every so often. He smiled, listening to them all talk, laughing and joking like they used to as kids. Also how exactly they used to do, Stanley stayed quiet and soaked in the atmosphere. Stanley felt at ease for the first time since Mike’s phone call. But deep down, that guilt bubbled in the bottom of his stomach. He knew that this was fine, being part of the group, but he dreaded the attention being turned to him or being alone with any of his friends.</p>
<p>But by complete accident, Stanley’s worst fear came true. He was alone with one of them at a time at some point during the course of their stay. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span class="u"> <b>BEVERLY &amp; THE BLUE JAY</b></span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>-</b>
</p>
<p><em>The blue jay, native to North America, is small but mighty as it is</em> <em> very intelligent and determined. </em> <em> It represents strength, communication, clarity or the need to stand up for yourself. When appearing, it may represent a force in you life representing protection and fearlessness, making you feel safe and protected.</em></p>
<p>
  <strong>-</strong>
</p>
<p>The first time he was alone with one of them was with Beverly. With the whole of the Losers Club back together, they had laughed and drunk late into the night, all of them grinning as they picked at the Chinese takeaway they had ordered. The red wine flushed Stanley's cheeks and his wife rested her hand on Stanley's leg to be a comforting present. When there was a lull in the conversation, he had mumbled to Patty that he needed some air. When he stepped onto their porch, he saw Beverly was sitting on the bench, smoking a cigarette, looking out into the darkness. He hadn’t even realised that Beverly had snuck out of the room either. Her eyes glanced over at Stanley when he opened the door, and he instantly froze. </p>
<p>“Oh shit, sorry, I didn’t realise you were out here, I’ll-”</p>
<p>“Stan don’t be ridiculous, come sit.” Beverly smiled, as she tapped the bench. Stanley nodded and went over to her, sitting down gently, his hands dug deep into his pockets. He followed her gaze out into the darkness. </p>
<p>Stanley and Patty lived off-road, surrounded by trees with the occasional truck drove on the road casting light onto Stanley and Beverly. The amber glow from the lights inside the house lit the porch up enough for Stanley to watch Beverly’s cigarette smoke swirl around into the darkness. It was quiet. They could hear the tree’s moving, the sound of crickets, and the muffled sound of laughter inside. But it didn’t feel awkward. They sat in comfortable silence, Beverly smoking next to Stanely while tapping her foot. </p>
<p>The smell of cigarette smoke always reminded Stanely of his childhood, but he couldn’t place why. He never remembered his parents smoking, they never seemed the sort. Stanely always remembered a kind smile with pink lips, standing out on pale freckly skin, and a flash of orange hair, but could never remember who it belonged to. Now, sitting next to Beverly, he could put two and two together. The smell of the smoke and the way cigarettes balanced between Beverly's fingers was somewhat calming, like a piece of a puzzle perfectly fitting into a hard jigsaw that you’ve been contemplating on for a while. </p>
<p>“I’ve been trying to quit again,” Beverly finally chuckled, as she took another drag of her cigarette, almost reading Stanley’s mind. “But I think it’s near impossible after what we went through.” Stanley nodded in agreement and Beverly looked around at him. “How are you?” She gently asked, surprised Stanley at her sudden question.</p>
<p>“Complicated question,” Stanley smiled and Beverly chuckled.</p>
<p>“Tell me about it.” She murmured with the cigarette between her lips. </p>
<p>“None of it feels real,” Stanley muttered, making Beverly look at him again. “Everything between leaving and Derry and when Mike called me feels like-”</p>
<p>“A dream?” Beverly interrupted and Stanley nodded. “Yeah, shit, tell me about it. The fucking mistakes I made…”</p>
<p>“Mistakes?” Stanley quickly asked.</p>
<p>“Did Mike tell you about my husband? Well, ex-husband.” Beverly corrected herself. Stanley shook his head and Beverly took another drag of her cigarette before she spoke again. “He was a piece of shit, Stan.” With those words, Stanley knew exactly what Beverly meant. </p>
<p>Stanley always had a soft spot for Beverly, but at the start he never really got why the other boys wanted her around. The first time they spoke was when Ben got all cut up by Henry Bowers, and Stanley didn’t care for her much as he believed the rumours and didn’t want his friends to get distracted by a pretty girl. Stanley started to like her more the first time they went to the Barren’s, but he was unsure why she wanted to spend time with them. When they were in the clubhouse, she would smoke and bounce around to the music, making Stanley laugh as he watched her curly fire like hair bounce up and down, waving her arms in the air as she held her cigarette. They were never really alone together but when they were, Beverly always smiled and asked him how his day was or how the birds are. Stanley would laugh and say “<em>the birds?” </em> and Beverly would throw her head back as she laughed and said <em> “I don’t know!” </em></p>
<p>It wasn’t till after Pennywise and Beverly said she was moving away he found out what was happening, Bill had to explain it to him and it made Stanley’s stomach clench. Stanley didn’t understand how Beverly could have a sparkle in her eyes even when everything was going on with her dad at home.  She was always strong, always laughing, always smiling at others. Stanley realised he was the only one who didn’t know, and he felt guilty for never bringing it up with her. When she was leaving, Stanley pulled her into a tight hug, trying to make up for the lack of hugs he had given her over the time knowing her. He couldn’t even imagine what it was like to live her life. </p>
<p>Now, Beverly still had that same sparkle and that same soft voice she used to speak to Stanley, even though the nightmare apparently continued after she left Derry as a teenager.</p>
<p>“Is he out of the picture now?” Stanley quietly asked, looking across her face.</p>
<p>“Yup,” Beverly smiled, stubbing out her cigarette on the bench, making Stanley cringe a little bit. But he quickly didn’t care because Beverly put a hand on his knee which eased him.  “You know Stan, I’m really glad you're here,” Beverly muttered. Stanley could see her eyes sparkling in the night, the corners filling with tears. </p>
<p>“I’m glad you’re here too,” Stanley smiled as Beverly rested her hair on his shoulder, they both looked into the night, Beverly’s ginger hair tickling his nose as it moved in the breeze. He sniffed slightly, the smell of cigarette smoke slowly drifting away in the wind. “So you and Ben, huh?” Stanley smirked and Beverly laughed. </p>
<p>“I was wondering how long that would take to come up.” Beverly chuckled as she sat up.</p>
<p>“Is he a good boyfriend?” Stanley asked.</p>
<p>“The best,” Beverly smiled, looking around at Stanley. </p>
<p>“Good.’ Stanley smiled. “I just want you to be happy.”</p>
<p>“You’re sweet.” Beverly smiled, squeezing Stanley’s leg. “You always were.”</p>
<p>“I don’t know about that,” Stanley laughed. </p>
<p>“Yeah as soon as I said it, it didn’t feel right.” Beverly chuckled and Stanely laughed. “You were always the most protective over me though.” Stanley raised an eyebrow. </p>
<p>When he looked back, Stanley thought Beverly didn’t like him very much because he didn’t like talking about feelings, which Beverly obviously needed to do. But thinking more about it, without even knowing about what was happening with Beverly at home, he always walked her home, went with her to the cinema, joined her at the library or walked through the forest with her when she said she needed to get away from home.  He could always sense something, and his brain would always scream to make sure she was safe.</p>
<p>“Secretly, you were my favourite,” Beverly whispered, glancing over at Stanley and leaning in close to him knocking their shoulders together. Stanley felt his eyes begin to water as he half-smiled at Beverly. He bit his lip as she looked over her kind face. “You always made me laugh with your sarcasm and birds.”</p>
<p>“Don’t make fun of my birds,” Stanley muttered, sniffing again to push back the tears. </p>
<p>“I wouldn’t dream of it,” Beverly laughed. Stanley rested his head on Beverly’s shoulder, feeling that same protective urge within him, the same feeling he used to get when he thought about Beverly. He felt guilty for not being able to protect her the past 27 years, and he nearly missed seeing her now. Seeing her happy and finally moving on. </p>
<p>“I’m sorry, Beverly,” Stanley muttered as he listened to her breath. “I’m sorry for not being there for you when we were kids and even when we were adults. But I promise I won’t let anyone hurt you again.” He felt Beverly nod slightly. “I'm just… sorry.” Stanley whispered.</p>
<p>“I know, Stanley.” Beverly sniffed.</p>
<p>They let the silence wash over them again, the comforting energy of being close to her soothed him and he was sure that Beverly felt the same. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span class="u"> <b>EDDIE &amp; THE SHORT-TAILED HAWK</b></span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>-</b>
</p>
<p>
  <em>The short-tailed hawk is classed as rare but that might be due to the fact it is difficult to spot unless in flight, as it normally conceals itself in deep canopies and shy's away from the world. The hawk is widely known as the symbol of power, but it can also represent strength, spirituality and patients, offering us perspective and insight. This is due to its high ability to use intuition and higher vision in order to complete tasks or make important decisions.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>-</strong>
</p>
<p>That evening, as they finished the red wine and the leftovers were being boxed up and put in the fridge, they separated off to go to bed, some of them stumbling over their feet more than the others. Patty and Stanley had a big house that normally felt empty and lonely. At one point they hoped to fill it with children, but that never happened. But with all of Stanley’s childhood friends running around, yelling at each other and demanding to hurry up in the bathroom, Stanley caught a glimpse of what his life could’ve been like. </p>
<p>They agreed on the sleeping arrangements of Ben and Beverly sharing a room, Eddie in another, with  Mike and Bill taking it in turns to either share the bed with Eddie or sleep on the floor on a camp bed, and Richie slept downstairs on the sofa. Eddie had insisted on sleeping on the sofa, but they had all argued that he had to have a bed, so Eddie grumbled under his breath and said “<em> fine </em> .” Eddie insisted on at least sharing it with someone and Richie had made a joke saying “ <em> you sure your wife won’t mind you sharing with a pair of hunks?” </em> Which earned him a quick shove from Eddie.</p>
<p>Eddie and Stanley had always been the grounded ones, always making sure everything was safe and in order, bickering with their friends about morals and decision making. Stanley didn’t get people and he was pretty sure Eddie was the same. They could stick together with their lack of understanding of people’s emotions and dramas and sit quietly as they read. As adults, Eddie seemed the same hot-headed, safety-conscious, <em> do-not-touch-me-or-I’ll-kill-you </em> Eddie Kaspbrak.</p>
<p>So when Stanley passed Eddie’s room with the door slightly open, he was shocked to see Eddie hunched over, his head in his hands, as he sat on the end of the bed. Stanley had been walking past, laughing to himself and listening to Bill, Mike and Richie arguing about something in the bathroom when he had stopped to look at Eddie’s small frame, hunched over and gripping into hair. Stanley thought for a moment but eventually decided to lightly knock. Eddie’s head instantly went up and his eyes met with Stanley’s.</p>
<p>“Hey,” Eddie lightly said. </p>
<p>“Hey,” Stanley smiled, opening the door more and taking a step inside. “Umm…” Stanley hummed as he awkwardly looked around the room, trying to think of something to say. </p>
<p>“Sorry, shit, sorry I’m being mopey,” Eddie mumbled as he rubbed his face with his hands. </p>
<p>“You wanna… talk about it?” Stanley finally said. </p>
<p>“No, it’s alright. I’m alright.” Eddie said with a forced smile. Stanley nodded before turning to leave the room, but as soon as he put his hand on the door, Eddie quickly said, “I divorced Myra.” </p>
<p>Stanley looked over his shoulder to see Eddie sat up straight, eyes blinking as they looked at Stanley. Stanley shut the door with a click, before wandering over to sit next to Eddie. They were quiet for a few moments. </p>
<p>“I haven’t told anyone yet.” Eddie quietly said, rubbing his hands together. </p>
<p>“Why?” Stanley asked, watching Eddie carefully. Eddie tipped his head and stayed looking to the ground. </p>
<p>“I don’t know…” Eddie mumbled. Stanley nodded and looked forward. He wasn’t sure what to do here. To pry, to hug Eddie, or to leave him alone… Stanley hated this. “Actually I do know,” Eddie said, breaking the awkward silence. He looked up at Stanley, his eyes slightly watery. “Can I tell you a secret?” Stanley slowly nodded, keeping his lips pressed together. Eddie blinked a couple of times and looked down at the floor. “I’m gay,” Eddie whispered, he whispered the words so quietly that Stanley barely heard them. But he did. Stanley blinked a couple of times, staring forward at the floral wallpaper Patty had been insistent on, thinking about what the next move should be. But luckily, Eddie kept rambling. “I hated being married to her, she was controlling and manipulating, and she never let me be me…” The words controlling and manipulating rang a bell, but Stanley kept listening. “She used always to tell me what to do, what medicine to take, what fucking job to do.” With Eddie rambling, Stanley remembered. </p>
<p>He had been sat on the banking next to the Barrens with Eddie. Stanley was quietly looking through his binoculars and Eddie patiently sat next to him. Stanley wasn’t sure why Eddie wanted to come with him, none of his friends ever shared an interest in Stanley’s hobby, they actually took the mick out of him about it. But Eddie had come to his house that morning and gingerly asked if he could join him for his Sunday birdwatching. They had been about 16 at the time. Stanley didn’t take any notice of how Eddie fidgeted or seemed on edge, but in hindsight, he should’ve known something was wrong. But it wasn’t till they had been sat for about an hour, Eddie snapped. He began rambling to Stanley about his mom, about how he wanted to run away and never look back, about how she scared him. Stanley at the time remembered thinking about how Eddie was scared, the idea of that confused him. Once Eddie was done talking, Stanley said it was going to be ok and Eddie nodded, they went back to sitting in silence and looking out for the birds Stanley had bookmarked in his favourite bird book. </p>
<p>As Stanley looked at Eddie now, it was the same fear in Eddie’s eyes. </p>
<p>"Why haven't you told anyone?" Stanley quietly asked, hearing a roar from the other room as his friends laughed about something. It was lucky they didn't have neighbours. </p>
<p>"Because I know your not going to give me a big lecture about how I'm brave and deserve to be happy and all that <em>shit</em>." Eddie huffed. </p>
<p>"Well, Eddie. You do deserve to be happy." Stanley mocked. </p>
<p>“I know that.” Eddie mumbled, laughing slightly as he glanced up at Eddie. </p>
<p>“I don’t think you do.” Stanley quickly said suddenly very serious, and Eddie’s eyes shot up to look at him. All those years ago, Stanley hadn't said anything to Eddie, but now he had the chance to say something. “I think…” Stanley paused for a moment to think, “I think that you’re stuck in a cycle of putting yourself down and thinking you don’t deserve better.” Eddie blinked a couple of times. “I think you’re a great guy and you could be really happy.”</p>
<p>“Thanks Stan.” Eddie smiled, “I’m sorry to offload on you, I know you hate talking about feelings.”</p>
<p>“That’s true,” Stanley chuckled, “but I care about you.” He nudged his shoulder against Eddie’s to rock them gently and Eddie breathily laughed. “Does Richie know?” And Eddie instantly stopped laughing. </p>
<p>“About what?” his eyes were darting across Stanley's face.</p>
<p>“Umm,” Stanley hummed uncomfortably, “about your wife, and the whole… gay thing.”</p>
<p>“No.” Eddie quickly answered. “Why are you asking that?”</p>
<p>“Because he was always your best friend.” Stanley quickly said. He meant that, that’s why he asked. But he knew deep down he asked for a different reason, but he wasn’t completely sure what it was. </p>
<p>“Oh,” Eddie quietly said. Turning to look away from Stanely, his cheeks going hot red. They were quiet for a minute, hearing the house creak and a few voices from downstairs. </p>
<p>“I’m proud of you, Eddie.” Stanley sarcastically cooed and Eddie breathily laughed. </p>
<p>“Please stop,” Eddie chuckled before softly smiling at Stanley. “I don’t think anyone’s ever said that to me.” Stanely knew Eddie was saying it a jokey way, but there was a sad truth behind it. “Right can we stop talking about emotions now, I feel like I’m going to throw up.” Eddie joked, slapping his legs as he stood up slowly with a groan. </p>
<p>“Sure,” Stanley laughed as he began to stand up. </p>
<p>“Oh Stanley,” Eddie quickly called out and Stanley whipped his head around.</p>
<p>“Yeah?”</p>
<p>“Would it be completely inappropriate and cross a boundary if I asked you to help me take my top off?” Eddie asked, a smirk creeping across his lips. Stanley chuckled and walked back over to Eddie. </p>
<p>“Just because I feel sorry for you,” Stanley snickered.</p>
<p>“Fuck you.” Eddie groaned. Stanley began undoing the buttons of Eddie’s navy blue shirt. They could hear the distant arguing of his friends, Patty’s footsteps walking past the room, the branches of a tree hitting the glass window. </p>
<p>“Can I tell you a secret too?” Stanley muttered. Eddie’s eyes glanced over him, but Stanely kept his attention on the fiddly buttons. </p>
<p>“Sure,” Eddie muttered.</p>
<p>“That I feel guilty,” Stanley whispered. He didn’t have to say what about because Eddie knew. </p>
<p>“You don’t have to feel guilty,” Eddie said, watching Stanley’s hands move down his shirt. </p>
<p>“I nearly missed all these big things…” Stanley quietly said, “I want you to know that I’m here for you, even if I don’t necessarily show it…”</p>
<p>“Ok,” Eddie said with a smile as Stanley finished with the buttons, revealing the bandage wrapped around his body. “We’re cool, Stan.”</p>
<p>“Good.” Stanley smiled. “And I think Richie would be fine, more than fine with what you told me, I actually think that-”</p>
<p>“Right, you can go away now, thank you.” Eddie laughed, interrupting Stanely’s rambling. </p>
<p>“Good.” Stanley laughed, “this was beginning to get very uncomfortable.” </p>
<p>“Is that homophobic?” Eddie grinned, crossing his arms over. </p>
<p>“Fuck you, that’s what it is.” Stanley groaned as he turned to leave the room. He heard Eddie chuckle behind him. Stanley looked over his shoulder as he shut the door. </p>
<p>“Just quickly…” Stanley said and Eddie looked up at him, “Love you, Eddie.” Stanley quickly said, and Eddie smirked. </p>
<p>“Love you too, Stan.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span class="u"> <b>MIKE &amp; THE TRICOLOURED HERON</b></span>
</p>
<p><span class="u"></span> <strong>-</strong></p>
<p>
  <em>The tricoloured heron is normally found in colonies, and when separated will fight its way back to the group. The heron is a symbolism of attaining wisdom, balance, patience, authority and assertiveness. The heron is among the animals that tell us to stop, look, and listen before taking action.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>-</strong>
</p>
<p>The next morning Stanley came down the stairs of his house, fumbling for the bannister in a still sleep-deprived and slightly hungover state. He could smell coffee as soon as he left his room. Stanley blinked a couple of times as he stepped into his kitchen, the morning light streaming in from the windows. Stood in the kitchen was Mike, in an oversized grey top bought from Derry’s museum, which had a faded beaver on it. Mike was shuffling around as he hummed to himself, but Stanley’s footsteps caught his attention because he glanced up and beamed.</p>
<p>“Morning,” Mike said in a low tone.</p>
<p>“Morning,” Stanley grumbled, looking at Mike who was taking out another mug for Stanley. </p>
<p>“How do you take it?”</p>
<p>“Black, no sugar,” Stanley replied with a smile, sitting on the stool which was pulled up to the island. He watched Mike make the coffee’s, his hands effortlessly moving as he moved around the kitchen. Mike was always good with his hands, always making difficult tasks look effortless. Stanley remembered that Mike surprisingly was the only one who knew how to sow, and had helped them all stitch their Halloween costumes that their moms didn't want them to wear. Mike was also the only one that knew life skills, like chopping wood, how to hammer in a nail or how to fix a leaking sink. Mike made up for the lack of their dads teaching them how to be "<em>men</em>" and Mike was the powerful manly figure they needed in their lives. That's what Richie used to say anyway.</p>
<p>Stanley turned his head to see Richie fast asleep on the sofa, completely passed out. One arm over his eyes and one arm dangling on the floor, his mouth open and a blanket draped over him. </p>
<p>“Still the same old Richie,” Mike chuckled, putting down the coffee and sitting next to Stanely. Stanley took his eyes off Richie and laughed slightly, wrapping his hands around the hot mug. Mike shuffled next to him and laughed as he brought the mug up to his lips. </p>
<p>“You know, I thought this was all going to be really awkward?” Stanley confessed, and Mike nodded slightly. </p>
<p>“I get that.” Mike took a sip of the coffee before saying, “but it’s like nothings changed, right?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, it’s weird.” Stanley smiled, the smell of the coffee bringing him out of his sleep-deprived state. “It’s like we all just dropped into the same places.” </p>
<p>“Yup,” Mike laughed, the steam from the coffee circling up from his mug. “I’m glad we can all be together again.”</p>
<p>“Me too,” Stanley muttered. But as soon as Mike said it, it brought the thought back of how they nearly weren’t together again. That they could’ve been sitting here for Stanley’s funeral rather than getting them all back together. </p>
<p>“After I called you…” Mike muttered and Stanely shut his eyes to try and block out the guilt growing in his stomach. “I knew something was wrong.” Mike looked around at Stanley who gently opened his eyes. “I felt it in here,” Mike muttered as he pointed to his own heart. Stanley glanced down for a moment, and he felt his eyes begin to water again. “I think we’re all connected, that's why it’s so easy for us to be the same as we were as kids.”</p>
<p>“I’m so sorry, Mike,” Stanley whispered. Mike gave a weak smile as he placed a strong hand on Stanley’s shoulder. </p>
<p>“You don’t have to apologize for anything, I’ve already told you that.” Mike’s voice was soothing and calm, but Stanley could see his eyes watering as they looked across Stanley’s face. </p>
<p>“But-”</p>
<p>“That’s enough, come on man.” Mike weakly smiled and Stanley nodded. Mike took his hand off Stanley’s shoulder and wrapped it around his mug again. Stanley dipped his head down, feeling the steam come up from the coffee and onto his face. They both looked up as Eddie came into the room, his feet heavy and he groaned loudly as he put a hand on his chest. </p>
<p>“You doing good, trooper?” Mike hummed and Eddie put his middle finger up at him. Stanley chuckled as he watched Eddie walk across the kitchen and poured himself a coffee. </p>
<p>“I don’t think you're supposed to be drinking coffee…” Stanley muttered, his lips against his mug as if he was hiding behind it. Eddie shot him a look and Mike started laughing. </p>
<p>“Can you guys shut the fuck up.” A voice grumbled from behind Mike and Stanley. They both turned on their stools to see Richie sitting up, his wild hair all over the place and he rubbed his sleepy eyes. He dropped his hand away and fumbled for his glasses on the coffee table. As he put them on, he blinked a few times and a small smile crept across his lips. “I don’t think you're supposed to be drinking coffee, my little delicate flower.”</p>
<p>“You wanna fucking die?!” Eddie yelled across the room and Richie cackled. </p>
<p>“Do you wanna die? Pretty sure if you get yourself worked up, you make yourself have an aneurysm.” Richie laughed and Eddie slammed his coffee down. “Our poor Lil Eddie baby needs to be on bed rest, our delicate boy with his <em>wickle</em> <em>winjuries</em>.” He said, putting the W’s on the pout his lips and batted his eyelashes.  Eddie started storming over to Richie and Richie quickly stumbled up. </p>
<p>“Oh shit!” he yelled as he began to run out of the room. </p>
<p>“You’re a dead man, Tozier!” Richie ran and Eddie quickly followed his, running around the house as they screamed at each other. </p>
<p>“Well, that will wake everyone up,” Mike mumbled. Stanley chuckled to himself and sipped his coffee again. He thought about his conversation with Eddie the night before, how flustered Eddie had gotten when he brought up Richie.</p>
<p>“You reckon somethings going on with-”</p>
<p>“Oh yes, absolutely.” Mike laughed, not even letting Stanley finish his thought. Stanley chuckled, taking a sip of his coffee, the hot liquid trickling down his throat and warming his body up.</p>
<p>“Your wife is delightful by the way.” Mike finally said. </p>
<p>“Yeah she’s great.” Stanley smiled, sitting up in his stool.</p>
<p>“You’re a lucky man.” Mike sighed as he sipped his coffee. The guilt crept back. Stanley got out, made a life for himself, settled down, and Mike was left all alone in Derry. Stanley went to open his mouth to say something and Mike said,  “Don’t say it. I’ve already heard it from everyone else.” Mike said and Stanely gave a quick nod. </p>
<p>It had always been that way growing up. They all had each other and when they were in their tight-knit group, no one felt like an outsider. But they all knew that whenever they walked the streets of Derry, at least most people wouldn’t stare at them, whisper about them, scowl at them. But Mike got the all the time. They tried to understand, but they could never fully. Mike would brush it off, that’s just how he was. He was strong, never let anything get to him. Stanley and Mike had been walking down the street together when a group of grown men started saying stuff about Mike in whispered loud enough for them both to hear. Mike had ducked his head and ignored it. Stanley tried to bring it up but Mike wouldn't let him. Mike would never let anyone bring anything up. His parents, what people said about him, the fact he wasn't accepted like the rest of the Losers were in Derry. <br/><br/></p>
<p>"Actually," Stanley said, "I want to talk about it." Mike frowned at him. "I think you should be talking about it." </p>
<p>"I don't think I want to..."</p>
<p>"Well you don't have to do it now, but maybe a part of moving on from Derry is accepting what Derry put you through," Stanley said and Mike raised his eyebrows. </p>
<p>"That's probably one of the smartest things you've ever said."</p>
<p>"Fuck you, I've said smart things before." Stanley laughed and Mike chuckled too. </p>
<p>"I was always an outsider," Mike muttered, "the colour of my skin, not having parents, not going to school, living on the outside of Derry..." Mike played with his coffee mug, scooting it around on the coaster. "But with you guys, it never felt like that. You guys never made me feel like an outsider." Stanley nodded, putting a hand on Mikes's shoulder. "I stayed in Derry as a sacrifice, knowing I was helping the people in Derry and even further but..." Mike paused for a moment. " I also did it so we could have this again. Be together like this. I did it out of love for you all." </p>
<p>"You did good, Mike." Stanley smiled.</p>
<p>"Thank you," Mike smiled back. They were quickly interrupted by Bill wandering into the kitchen with a big yawn. </p>
<p>"What the fuck are Richie and Eddie on? If it's that coffee, I need some too." Bill groaned and Mike stood up and said,</p>
<p>"I'll get you some."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span class="u"> <b>BEN &amp; THE BLACK-BILLED MAGPIE</b></span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>-</b>
</p>
<p><em>Although common, blackbirds should be cherished as much as a rare bird as they </em> <em>are recognised as one of the most intelligent animals, being one of the only mammals to pass the mirror test. The magpie's speech is symbolic of communication and creative expression. When listening to a Magpies call, you should remind yourself it is a message that you should always listen to what is being spoken to you, to listen with more attention. he magpie is a symbol of intelligence, friendship, and loyalty.</em></p>
<p>
  <strong>-</strong>
</p>
<p>Patty had announced she wanted to cook a big meal, a chilli, in fact, something that she used to make for her family as a girl and also what she used to make for all their friends at college. Stanley said she didn’t have to do that, but she gently kissed Stanley on the cheek and told him that she wanted to, and Stanley needed to spend as much time with his friends as possible. So Stanely took that and left Patty at home, Eddie insisting that he stay too so he could rest. Stanley knew that Eddie didn't need to rest because of his injuries, but more he needed time to work out what he needed to do next. Stanley didn't say anything though. They split up into Stanley’s and Ben’s cars and drove to the nearest town to go to a local coffee shop that Mike and Bill wanted to go to, and Stanley said he was splitting off to go do some food shopping. Ben insisted in coming with him, saying that he didn’t care for sitting in a cafe and listening to Mike and Bill nerd out about books, and Beverly and Richie were probably going to run off somewhere anyway.</p>
<p>Stanley read them out the list while leaning on the shopping cart, pushing it slowly through the isles as Ben scanned the shelves. </p>
<p>“It’s not on the list, but I reckon we should buy more sweets for Richie, so he has something to occupy his mouth rather than speaking,” Stanely said and Ben laughed as he picked up a bag of hard candy on the shelves and placed it in the trolley. </p>
<p>“Good plan,” he chuckled. Ben went back to concentrating, and Stanley went back to thinking. </p>
<p>The Ben that was in front of him was very different to the Ben he remembered, looks-wise anyways. But inside, Ben was still a kind-hearted old soul which Stanley always loved. Ben was the one that always brought their group together as kids, making sure they all met up and did things together, making sure no one felt left out. Stanley wouldn’t be surprised if it was Ben’s idea for them all to visit Stanley.  That was just the way Ben’s mind worked. He always thought of others before he thought of himself. That’s why he built the clubhouse. </p>
<p>“Huh…” Stanley said out loud as the memory came back to him and Ben turned round to glance at Stanley. </p>
<p>“What?” Ben smiled and Stanley shook his head. </p>
<p>“I just remembered…” He muttered and his eyes met Ben’s, “the clubhouse.” Ben gently smiled at Stanley before looking forwards again to watch where he was going. </p>
<p>“Yeah, we actually went back there.” </p>
<p>“No shit…” Stanley muttered. He was getting dangerously close to talking about Derry, but he couldn’t stop himself from talking. “So it’s still standing.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, what can I say, I’m a good architect.” Ben chuckled as he picked up a large bag of rice. “You think one’s enough?”</p>
<p>“Grab two.” Stanley replied and Ben nodded to grab a second bag. “So you're a successful architect now, rather than a boy building a den for his loser friends.” Stanley asked, his feet dragging slightly as he pushed the cart. </p>
<p>“Yeah, it’s a dream come true.” Ben smiled, “but I still think that clubhouse was my proudest achievement.” </p>
<p>Out of all his friends, Stanley felt like he was the least close to Ben. But that’s because Ben kept to himself, he rarely made jokes and didn’t participate in the group's constant energy or shenanigans. He wasn’t the sort of boy to run around, not like the rest of them were, he was a contemplator like Stanley was. Stanley often thought that they could’ve been very good friends if one of them had actually made the effort. </p>
<p>“What did it feel like?” Stanley suddenly said. Ben stopped for a moment to turn to look at Stanley, “to be back?” Stanley added as he stopped pushing the cart, looking up at Ben’s eyes. Ben took a moment to answer.</p>
<p>“I didn't feel anything really…” Ben muttered, “it was like I was supposed to be there, but my brain was screaming at me to run.” Stanley knew they weren’t just talking about the clubhouse anymore. Stanley gently nodded. “Being with everyone though… It helped.” As the words came out of Ben’s mouth, it felt like Stanley had been stabbed in the chest. </p>
<p>“I’m so sorry Ben,” Stanley muttered as he straightened up, keeping a firm grip on the handlebar of the cart. </p>
<p>“No, I didn’t mean it like-”</p>
<p>“No, listen, I’m sorry.” Stanley said firmly. “I should’ve been there.” Ben placed a hand on Stanley’s shoulder. </p>
<p>“It’s okay Stanley.” Ben smiled and Stanley gently nodded. An older lady scowled as she walked round then, and Stanley glared back making Ben give a light laugh. </p>
<p>"Couldn't she see we were having a heart to heart?" Stanley scoffed and Ben shook his head as he laughed. Ben began walking again and Stanley followed. </p>
<p>“So you landed the girl?” Stanley said, breaking the silence. Ben laughed again, Stanley noted that his laugh hadn’t changed. </p>
<p>“I landed the girl…” Ben almost sang as he said it. “You know what’s crazy? She thinks she landed me.”</p>
<p>“I don’t blame her, look at you.”</p>
<p>“I don’t know…”</p>
<p>“Your kidding right?” Stanley suddenly stopped, making Ben turn to look at him. “You’re like the nicest guy I know and you're hot as well.” Ben scoffed. “You're the full package!” Stanley exclaimed making a few other shoppers turn to look and Ben’s cheeks flushed red. </p>
<p>“Shut up.” Ben muttered. </p>
<p>“I’m being serious, you’ve got to love yourself more,” Stanley argued. “You’re a great guy, you need to see that.”</p>
<p>“Thanks, Stanley.” Ben grinned, “We get this shopping done quickly? I feel bad for leaving Beverly with Richie for so long.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span class="u"> <b>RICHIE &amp; THE CAVE SWALLOW</b></span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>-</b>
</p>
<p>Swallows<em> are one of the most common birds seen worldwide, however, the cave swallow's are classed as rare. They are one of the most vocal of the swallow family, having a memorable sound. However, they may become quieter, the further away they get from the nest. The swallow is an easy-going, lovable and cheerful animal, symbolising happiness, cheerfulness and sociability.</em></p>
<p>
  <strong>-</strong>
</p>
<p>The easiest friendship to slip back into was the one with Richie. When Stanley said friendship, he meant that it was actually easy to slip back into the way they used to be, as in the constant arguing. While in a group of people, it was easy for Stanley to shoot down Richie’s bad jokes with a smirk and Richie to fire back insults. As kids, people including their friends thought they hated each other when actually Stanley probably had the closest relationship to Richie out of all of them. Not because they talked about their problems or because they told each other their feelings, but because Richie would try his best to make his group smile, and when he was alone with Stanley he would always try his best to make Stanley feel wanted. Stanley would always shrug Richie away when he put his arm around him as Richie took the piss out of Stanley, but Stanley secretly liked being included. It was easy as a kid for Stanley to fade into the background of their group with his pessimism and rolling eyes, but Richie always reminded him he was part of the group by making him the butt of a joke. It was the same as adults. </p>
<p>But Stanley sometimes saw something in Richie that he wasn’t sure if anyone else could see, which was saying something as Stanley knew he couldn’t read people and struggled with dealing with his friends' problems. As kids, sometimes Stanley would catch Richie having quiet moments or staring off into the distance. At one point, Stanley realised he wasn’t staring off into the distance, but actually at Eddie. Stanley would want to know what he was thinking about or why he was staring at Eddie with wide eyes and biting down on his lip. It was the same as adults. Stanley kept catching Richie’s eyes as he had moments of silence and staring at Eddie, normally while Eddie talked to someone else or when Eddie was drunk dancing with Beverly and grinning ear to ear.</p>
<p>Stanley wasn’t exactly sure when he put two and two together as a kid, but it was always something that was in the back of his mind. He never confronted Richie about it as he was too scared of trying to work out what to say. Derry wasn't the sort of place where someone like Richie could've been excepted, but Stanley knew that the Losers would have accepted him. It made him feel guilty thinking back because Richie probably needed someone to talk to desperately and needed to know he would've been accepted. Maybe that's why he was so loud all the time, it took the attention off what was lying underneath.</p>
<p>Stanley soon realised it was the same as an adult. Richie was a big bundle of energy, bouncing around the house or whatever public space they went to, laughing and joking about something inappropriate. </p>
<p>They had all sat quietly talking around the kitchen island as they ate sandwiches for lunch when Richie had bounded in, grinning ear to ear and rambling about a crazy dream he had the night before. Eddie sat picking at his food, rolling his eyes at Richie. </p>
<p>“Oh sorry, Edward, am I not entertaining enough for you?”  Richie gushed.</p>
<p>“Let’s just say I can’t believe you're a professional entertainer,” Eddie smirked and Richie made a dramatic shocked face and put his hand to his heart. </p>
<p>“Take the professional out while you're at it,” Stanley taunted and Richie pretended to collapse onto the kitchen island. Mike chucked as she bit into his sandwich and Beverly gave him a quick pat on the head.</p>
<p>“You all break my heart,” Richie grumbled. </p>
<p>“What heart?” Eddie muttered, and Richie’s eyes shot up at him. </p>
<p>“You can fucking talk!” Richie yelled, throwing his arms up in the air. </p>
<p>“What’s that supposed to mean?” Eddie scoffed as he got off his stool. </p>
<p>“It means your heartless, that’s what it means!” Richie argued. </p>
<p>“Suck my dick, Richie,” Eddie yelled as he walked out of the room in the direction of the downstairs toilet. Richie didn’t answer that, he blushed and sat down on one of the stools. Everyone stared at him, even Patty. Richie glanced up at them all. </p>
<p>“What?” Richie asked, and everyone put there eyes down and started eating again. Stanley looked around at them all as they sat in silence, refusing to say anything. </p>
<p>“Fuck this!” Stanley suddenly snapped, making everyone look up at him. Stanley pulled himself up from the stool he was in and stomped over to Richie, grabbing his wrist and yanking him up the stairs. </p>
<p>“What the fuck, dude!” Richie yelled and Stanley just gripped harder. He didn’t let go until he had pulled Richie into the spare room and slammed the door behind them. Richie frowned as he rubbed his wrist, pouting at Stanley. Stanley crossed his arms over his chest and tapped his foot. </p>
<p>“Soooo..?" Richie said like it was a question.</p>
<p>“Nope, shut the fuck up Richie.” Stanley interrupted, pointing his finger at Richie. Richie took a step back and looked Stanley up and down. “What the fuck are you doing, Richie? Like seriously? You know what you’re doing right?” Stanley rambled.</p>
<p>“Am I allowed to speak?” Richie asked, raising his eyebrow.</p>
<p>“Yes.” Stanley said crossing his arms again. </p>
<p>“Okay then..." Richie raised an eyebrow and paused for a moment, "well I have literally no idea what you're talking about.” Richie quickly said. Stanley threw his hands up in frustration. “What?” Richie cackled. </p>
<p>“Richie, I swear to god, if you make me say it I’m going to kill you!” Stanley yelled. </p>
<p>“Seriously, Stan! I have no idea!” </p>
<p>“You know I’m bad at this shit, don’t make me say it.”</p>
<p>“Stan you’re insane, I don't know what your problem is-.”</p>
<p>“You’re obviously in love with Eddie!” Stanley suddenly yelled and Richie blinked a couple of times, taken aback by Stanley's statement. But then an uncomfortable half-smile crept across Richie’s lips. </p>
<p>“What?” He breathily laughed, trying to make it look like Stanley was crazy. </p>
<p>“Don’t play dumb with me, Richie Tozier, or I swear to God-” Stanley hissed as he stepped closer to Richie.</p>
<p>“Fine!” Richie yelled, putting hands up to stop Stanley stomping towards him. Stanley stopped and his face suddenly softening as he saw Richie’s eyes suddenly start to water and his smile drop. “Fuck.” Richie mumbled as he turned to face away from Stanley as he ran his hand through his wild hair. </p>
<p>“Richie I-”</p>
<p>“How did you even find out?” Richie quickly said, turning back to Stanley. “Like you… how did <em> you </em> know?” The way he said <em>you </em>hurt Stanley, but he knew exactly what Richie was talking about. Out of all of them, it was most surprising that Stanley was the first to confront Richie about this.</p>
<p>“That’s offensive.” Stanley scoffed as he crossed his arms over his chest, and Richie raised his eyebrow and Stanely relaxed his arms and huffed. “Fine, I see your point.” Richie raised both his eyes brows and threw his hand in the air, rolling his eyes and beginning to pace the room. Stanley watched the taller man as he paced, scrunching and relaxing his hands. “You wanna talk about it?” Stanley asked in a low tone, almost hoping Richie would say no. </p>
<p>“No,” Richie groaned but carried on pacing. “Maybe,” he said after a couple of moments, still pacing. Stanley rolled his eyes and began tapping his foot again as he put his hands on his hips. “It’s not like it doesn’t even matter, he doesn’t love me back.”</p>
<p>“How do you know that?” Stanley asked.</p>
<p>“Well for one he’s married to a woman.” Richie carried on pacing and Stanley stayed quiet. He looked down at his feet.</p>
<p><em> Shit, shit, shit, shit, </em>Stanley thought.</p>
<p>He couldn’t read people, but everyone could read Stanley. Richie suddenly stopped. </p>
<p>“What?” Richie asked and Stanley scrunched his eyes shut. “Oh my god, Stan, what?!” Richie yelled and Stanely opened one of his eyes to peek at Richie who was red-faced, eyebrows raised and arms crossed across his chest. “What do you know?” Richie asked again. Stanley quickly shook his head and closed his eyes again, and Richie stepped closer to Stanley. “Stanley I swear to god you can’t just-”</p>
<p>“Eddie’s getting a divorce,” Stanley suddenly blurted out, opening his eyes wide to look at Richie. He felt awful as soon as he said it since Eddie had told him about his divorce in confidence. Richie squinted down at Stanley. </p>
<p>“There’s more,” Richie finally said. </p>
<p>“What?” Stanley scoffed, feeling his skin go hot and his palms sweat.</p>
<p>“You’re such a bad liar.” Richie hummed, “you know something and you're not telling me.”</p>
<p>"It's not my place to say." Stanley sighed and Richie raised an eyebrow. </p>
<p>"Stanley?" Richie cooed.</p>
<p>"Nope. Not happening, Richie."</p>
<p>"Are you really going to stand in the way of my happiness?" Richie asked, reading his eyebrow. </p>
<p>"This is so high school, just talk to him yourself!" Stanley yelled. </p>
<p>"Talk to him?" Richie yelled sarcastically, "Not a chance!" </p>
<p>"You're a big baby, Richie Tozier!" Stanley yelled waving his hands in the air. Richie turned around on his heel and sat on the bed in a huff, putting his head in his hands. He scrunched his hair in his fists as he grumbled something under his breath. Stanley watched him as he sat up and rubbed his face under his glasses. Stanley sighed loudly. "Fine, wait here."</p>
<p>"Where are you going?" Richie quickly asked, but Stanley didn't answer. Stanley quickly thudded down the steps and everyone watched Stanley as he walked in. Stanley leant in the doorway and twiddled his fingers together. Eddie had returned none the wiser, eating his sandwich and scrolling on his phone. </p>
<p>“Hey, Eddie…” Stanley cooed and Eddie shot his eyes up. </p>
<p>“What?” Eddie snapped. </p>
<p>“Can I speak to you…” Stanley paused for a moment as he surveyed the room of people looking at them, “alone…” Eddie scowled at him. “Upstairs.” Eddie groaned loudly and stood up, taking one last sip of his coffee. As they walked out of the room, Stanley took a detour to the hooks the kept by the door, and picked up a ring of keys. Eddie watched him but Stanley moved past him and thumped up the steps. Eddie groaned loudly as he followed Stanley up them.</p>
<p>When they got outside of the bedroom, Stanley quickly turned to Eddie and looked at him up and down. </p>
<p>“What?” Eddie said.</p>
<p>“I’m really sorry,” Stan sighed and opened the door, revealing Richie sat on the bed with a scowl. But as soon as his eyes met Eddie’s, Richie stood up quickly. </p>
<p>“Stan… what are you doing…” Richie asked slowly. </p>
<p>“Again,” Stanley said, looking around at Eddie. “I’m so sorry.” Stanley gave Eddie a quick shove and he stumbled into the room. Eddie and Richie quickly looked up at Stanley in surprise and Stanley grinned as he slammed the door shut. He heard them both running and start banging at the door and Stanley turned the key in the lock. He knew that keeping the original doors with the locks on would come in useful one day.  </p>
<p>“I’m sorry, this is for your own good!” Stanley shouted loudly through the door over Richie and Eddie yelling and banging on the wooden door. </p>
<p>“Fuck you, Stan!” Richie yelled from the other side of the door. </p>
<p>“I’m doing this out of love!” Stanley shouted back.</p>
<p>“Fuck that and fuck you!” Eddie yelled.</p>
<p>“We have nothing to talk about!” Richie yelled. </p>
<p>"Are you sure about that, Richie?" Stanley asked and Richie was quiet for a moment. </p>
<p>"We have nothing to talk about," Richie repeated.</p>
<p>“Fine, step away from the door.” Stanley shouted and they both stopped banging. He heard them both take a few steps away and Stanley twisted the key and opened the door slightly. He peeked his head round to see Richie and Eddie, both with their arms crossed and scowling at Stanley. </p>
<p>“Stanley, you’re a piece of shit.” Richie grumbled and Stanley smirked. </p>
<p>“Fine… you made me do this…” </p>
<p>“Stan I-”</p>
<p>“Richie’s in love with you, Eddie and Eddie you’re obviously in love with Richie so you both need to either talk it out or fuck it out.” Stanley quickly said and slammed the door and heard them both run to the door, yelling swear words at Stanley and rattling the door as Stanley managed to lock it. Stanley proudly smirked as he listened to them yell at him and rattle the door handle. He turned on his heal in the direction of the staircase, but when he got to the top he saw Mike, Bill, Ben, Beverly and Patty were all standing at the bottom of it, looking up at Stanley in confusion.</p>
<p>“What the fuck is going on?” Bill quickly asked. They all stared at him with raised eyebrows. The sound of Eddie and Richie banging on the door and yelling insults filled the house. Stanley began thumping down the steps. </p>
<p>“We have to leave the house.” Stanley quickly said, looking around at them. “It’s a matter of health and safety.” Patty raised her eyebrows as she looked at her husband. </p>
<p>“What did you do?” Beverly asked, a small smile on her face. </p>
<p>“I’ll tell you as we walk to the bar.” Stanley grinned.</p>
<p>“You know that’s an hour walk away, right?” Patty said as Stanley pushed past them all to grab his coat.</p>
<p>“Yup, we’re going to have to be out of the house all day,” Stanley smirked and the group looked around each other. “Come on.” Stanley grinned. They all picked up their coats and put on their shoes and followed Stanley out of the house, listening to the yells of Richie and Eddie become quieter the further they got away. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span class="u"> <b>BILL &amp; BURROWING OWL</b></span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>-</b>
</p>
<p>
  <em>The burrowing owl is a rare bird, and unlike other owls, it can be active during the day even though they also hunt at dusk till dawn. Owls are commonly known as a symbol of wisdom, but it's more than that. Owl can illuminate, assist and educate. They can be a friendly call in the night that guides you in the right direction, helping you find your way home.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>-</strong>
</p>
<p>After they got home from the bar, all of them drunk and merry, Stanley let Richie and Eddie out of the room. </p>
<p>“You boys get sorted?” Stanley smirked as they both scowled at him. Stanley stepped to the side as he held the door open for them. Eddie stood up from where he was sitting on the bed and stormed past Stanley.</p>
<p>“Fuck you.” Eddie murmured and Stanley smirked at him. </p>
<p>“Thank you,” Richie whispered with a smile as he walked past Stanley. Stanley smiled to himself as he followed them down the staircase.</p>
<p>They didn’t talk about Richie and Eddie that evening as they ate yet another takeout, trying to leave them to sort out whatever was going on between them. The conversation stayed light as they talked about what was next for them.  It was an early night because Stanley wanted to get up to go bird watching the best day, which he said was a break from all of them and they could have a day doing whatever they wanted. </p>
<p>Stanley tried his best not to be alone with Bill, but it was inevitable. It happened at around 2am he woke up with a headache. Stanley stumbled down the dark staircase and went into his kitchen to get a glass of water. He spotted Bill in the shadows, sat up in the armchair, his hands clenched together as his eyes glistened in the moonlight. Stanley blinked a couple of times as his eyes adjusted and Bill glanced over at him. Bill gave a small wave and Stanley frowned back as he wandered over. Looked over the sofa to see Mike curled up asleep with a blanket over him. Stanley pointed down at Mike and frowned questioningly.</p>
<p>“Richie and Eddie are in our room...” Bill whispered, “catching up.” Bill added.</p>
<p>“Fucking?” Stanley murmured, raising an eyebrow.</p>
<p>“Oh yeah,” Bill breathily laughed and Stanley laughed too, grinning down at Bill. They both smiled for a few moments before looking down at their feet awkwardly.  “You wanna go for a walk?” Bill suddenly whispered. </p>
<p>“I’m in my pyjamas,” Stanley argued in a hushed tone and Bill just smiled and shrugged his shoulders. “Fine, come on.” Stanley whispered and turned to head for the door, walking down the dark corridor. He quickly slipped on his trainers and turned to see Bill pulling on his shoes as well, leaning against the bannister. Stanley picked up his coat and opened unlocked the door, Bill slipped on his bomber jacket over his pyjamas. They both stepped out of the house, and Bill clicked the door shut behind them. They stepped down the wooden porch steps and began walking towards the dark forest that surrounded Stanley’s house. Stanley rooted through his pockets and pulled out his keys, fiddling with them to click the small torch that was attached to them. The light clicked on and lit the small path in front of them as they walked in silence. The night sky was cloudy, but the stars peaked between the gaps. The moonlight fought its way through the thick cloud that was covering it and gave the two men a soft glow. It was still warm out, the humid air swirling around them. The faint noise of crickets and Stanley could hear an owl somewhere in the woods. </p>
<p>“How come you decided to live so far out?” Bill asked as the twigs cracked underneath his feet, his hands were dug deep into his pockets as he walked. </p>
<p>“I don’t like people.” Stanley muttered and Bill gave a small laugh. </p>
<p>“You haven’t changed much.” Bill said, looking down at where he was going. </p>
<p>“Neither have you.” Stanley smiled glancing over at his friend for a moment, but Bill didn’t look back. There was an awkwardness between them, not like he had with his other friends. The path led around the outside of Stanley’s house and Stanley watched to make sure the light hit it so they wouldn’t stumble on any overgrown roots. </p>
<p>“Actually,” Stanley finally said, “You’ve all changed a lot.”</p>
<p>“What do you mean?” Bill asked. </p>
<p>“Well… You’ve all grown up, that’s for sure.” </p>
<p>“Don’t remind me, I hate that I’m an old man now…” Bill grumbled. </p>
<p>“No, I don’t mean like that… I mean that you’re all…” Stanley thought for a moment. “You’ve all grown… As people I mean.”</p>
<p>“I guess.” Bill mumbled as he stepped over a large branch. </p>
<p>“Beverly’s starting to see she deserves better and she’s a strong woman,” Stanley said and Bill nodded. Stanley continued. “Mike is finally seeing who he is without Derry. Ben is actually starting to love himself and not change himself for others, but improve himself for his own benefit. Eddie’s breaking the pattern he was in of emotional abuse, and I actually think Richie’s starting to accept himself and is actually growing up.”</p>
<p>“I don’t know about Richie growing up.”</p>
<p>“I just gave a whole speech and that’s your takeaway?” Stanley argued, and Bill smirked. Stanley sighed before saying, “and you. I think you’re finally letting go of the past.” Bill stopped and turned to face Stanley. Stanley lowered the touch down so it wouldn’t blind Bill. </p>
<p>“And what about you?” Bill quietly asked. </p>
<p>“What about me?” Stanley said while grinning, trying to force himself not to get emotional. </p>
<p>“Have you grown up?” Bill asked. His face was gentle, his eyes glistening in the soft light. As they stood there, Stanley was sure he blinked and for a moment he could see young Bill in front of him, offering to cut his hand as a promise to them all. </p>
<p>“I don’t know.” Stanley admitted. The soft wind swayed the trees around them making them creek and the leaves shake. Stanley waved his arms in the air with frustration and sighed, making Bill flinch slightly as the torch’s light briefly went over his eyes. </p>
<p>“You know, I spent my whole life being scared?” Stanley suddenly admitted, his voice was shaky as it left his body. Bill kept staring at him with those gentle eyes. “I was scared about what was going to come next and what I might have left behind. But I never knew what I was actually scared of.” Bill nodded in agreement, letting his eyes dip down for a moment before meeting Stanley’s again. “I hid myself, hid all those feelings. I always said I was the way I was because I didn’t understand people, and I still don’t think I do." Bill smiled sympathetically at Stanley. "I actually did it because I was scared. I was scared of how unpredictable people could be, I was scared of what could happen if I even began to tell people who I really was…”</p>
<p>“And who are you?” Bill gently asked. </p>
<p>“A loser,” Stanley smiled and Bill chuckled. “I like puzzles, I like quiet Sundays, I like messing about with my friends.” Stanley felt his eyes watering. “And  I really like birds.”</p>
<p>“That doesn’t make you a loser.” </p>
<p>“No, but I am one.” Stanley gently smiled. </p>
<p>“True.” Bill laughed and Stanley saw a tear roll down his cheek that reflected in the light. “But you're a lot of other things too.”</p>
<p>“Yeah? Like what?” Stanley sniffed. </p>
<p>“A good friend.” Bill said and Stanley felt the pain in his stomach which had been growing and growing. It twisted in his stomach as he looked at Bill’s glistening eyes, it hurt in his wrists, it hurt in his heart. </p>
<p>“I’m so sorry Bill,” Stanley managed to stammer out. Bill looked over him carefully. “I made a promise, and I fucked up.” He bit his lip, feeling it tremble beneath his teeth. Bill took a small step closer to Stanley. “I’m sorry Bill.” Stanley uttered again. Bill put a hand on Stanley's shoulder, rubbing his thumb over it. Stanley looked deep in Bill’s eyes. Bill had a sympathetic smile on his lips and he nodded gently.</p>
<p>“It’s alright, Stan.” Bill murmured, his eyes filled with teats. “It’s over now, we can finally move on, and that's all that matters. We can all be happy, and we can all be together again.” Stanley nodded and tried to smile and he could taste the salt from his tears. </p>
<p>“I can be my true loser self now, right?”</p>
<p>“Absolutely.” Bill laughed, tears still rolling down his face. Stanley moved forward and wrapped his arms around Bill, and Bill quickly pulled him in tight. The two stood and held each other, listening to the forest around them and their sobs which floated into the wind. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span class="u"> <b>PATTY &amp; THE WHITE DOVE</b></span>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>-</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <em>The white dove is extremely rare in the wild, but a rock dove can be white. If you are to see one, you are extremely lucky. The dove symbolised peace, love and purity. But it also can symbolise the end of a problematic cycle in your life, thereby announcing a time of a new world opening up to you. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>-</strong>
</p>
<p>They returned back to the house and Stanley said goodnight to Bill before sneaking back up the steps to his room. Stanley walked down the dark corridor, but he could see the light spilling from under his bedroom door. As he slowly opened it, Patty shuffled up and sat dead upright in the bed, sighing as she watched Stanely step into the room.</p>
<p>“Where did you go, I was worried about you.” She quietly said. Stanley stopped at the end of the bed. </p>
<p>“I’m sorry.” Stanley quietly said, watching his wife blink a couple of times. </p>
<p>“You don’t have to say sorry to me, you can get up in the night if you can't sleep Stan-”</p>
<p>“No, I’m sorry.” Stanley interrupted. Patty shook her hair a couple of times, her blonde hair swaying against her face. </p>
<p>“I don't under-”</p>
<p>“Patty,” Stanley said as he walked over to her side of the bed and sat in front of her, “I never said sorry to you… for what I did…”</p>
<p>“Please, Stan, you don’t have to say sorry.” She whispered as she took Stanley's hands in hers. Her warmth eased Stanley's racing heart. “You never have to apologize for what you did.”</p>
<p>“But I need to apologize for what I put you through.” Stanley mumbled, his eyes filling up with tears. Patty bit her lip as she glanced across Stanley’s face. “I love you so much, Pat.”</p>
<p>“I love you too,” She said gently as she lifted her hand up to touch Stanley’s cheek. He dipped his head into her hand for more contact. </p>
<p>"It's going to be different now, I promise. I'm going to start being me." Stanley muttered. </p>
<p>"Sounds wonderful." Patty smiled, a tear rolling down her flushed cheek.</p>
<p>“Thank you for everything.” Stanley sniffed as his eyes welled up, feeling his cheeks become wet. Patty kept gently smiling at him, using her thumb to brush away the tears. “Marrying me, looking after me, this week with my friends…” Stanley listed. </p>
<p>“Of course I was going to marry you, you're perfect.” Patty hummed. “And I have to look after you, it was in my vows, idiot.” Patty muttered sarcastically. Stan chuckled as he took Patty’s hand to kiss it. “And this week has been great, your friends are wonderful.” </p>
<p>“Yeah, they really are.”</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span class="u"> <b> THE LOSERS &amp; THE </b> <b>BROWN THRASHER</b> </span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>-</b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em> Brown Thrashers can mimic sounds of other birds and also different sounds. The Brown Thrasher is a symbolism of communication and listening to those around you, making sure that there is harmony and peace. Be carefree and open with your thoughts, just like the brown thrasher, and adapt with the song you hear in your heart.</em>
</p>

<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <strong>-</strong>
  </p>
</blockquote><p>“Are we there yet?” Richie moaned as he took an extra big lunge over the rocky path. They were walking in two’s up a steep slope to the top of the mountain. </p>
<p>“You’ve asked that every two minutes, Richie.” Bill called over his shoulder as he clutched to the handles of his rucksack and Mike chuckled quietly. </p>
<p>“I promise we’re nearly there.” Stanley cheered out as he turned round to offer his hand  to his wife, to help his climb across the large rocks on the path. She gently smiled at her husband as she took his hand. </p>
<p>“This reminds me of when me and Bev went to the Agate Fossil Beds in Nebraska together and-”</p>
<p>“Wait a second.” Richie interrupted, “Are you and Bev dating!” Richie yelled sarcastically and Beverly started laughing, but it earned a scowl of Ben. “I’ve not heard you mention it once!”</p>
<p>“You can talk,” Ben scoffed as he held Beverly’s hand and swung it between them.</p>
<p>“What does that mean?” Richie asked defensively. </p>
<p>“Oh god please don’t-” Mike moaned. </p>
<p>“You and Eddie!” Beverly exclaimed over her shoulder at Richie. </p>
<p>“Oh don’t you dare bring me into this!” Eddie yelled as his foot slid from underneath him, and Richie caught his arm quickly, and Eddie smiled up at Richie gently before Richie turned his attention back to the argument.</p>
<p>“Honestly I have no idea what you're talking about, Miss Marsh.” Richie laughed and Eddie shot him an angry look. </p>
<p>“Let's just say I know the way too much about the size of your-”</p>
<p>“Please shut up!” Bill shouted, interrupting the conversation. “I can’t deal with reliving it again.”</p>
<p>“Oh my god.” Eddie groaned, his cheeks flushing red. </p>
<p>“Well, at least you now know the jokes are true!” Richie laughed, making the whole group groan. </p>
<p>“I’m going to kill you, Richie,” Eddie yelled. </p>
<p>“You’re the one who was being loud-”</p>
<p>“Shut up, all of you, you’re going to scare the birds away before we even get there!” Stanley also yelled. They all shut up but quietly chuckled at Stanley's aggressiveness. </p>
<p>“You know, I’ve been married to this man for twenty years, and not once has he invited me bird watching, so we’re very lucky!” Patty grinned as she looked over her shoulder at the group.</p>
<p>“Watch where you are going,” Stanley grumbled to Patty, making Patty laugh as she turned to look forward again. "You're all making me regret it." Stanley added.</p>
<p>“Don’t worry about it Patty, he would never invite us when we were kids either.” Bill smiled.</p>
<p>“Actually, I went with him once,” Eddie called out and they all turned to look at Eddie who was at the back of the group.</p>
<p>“What, no fair!” Beverly laughed as she turned forward again. </p>
<p>“Were you trying to steal my man, Uris?” Richie yelled and Eddie shoved him slightly. </p>
<p>“I can't believe Dad has a favourite." Mike laughed.</p>
<p>"We all know Bill's the group dad," Ben laughed. "Always leading the way and being the protector."</p>
<p>"Nah, Mike has the biggest dad vibe," Beverly suggested. </p>
<p>"I was going to say Ben was the biggest dad," Eddie called out.</p>
<p>"Why is no one considering me as the dad?" Richie argued. "I have the dad bod and the dad clothes!"</p>
<p>"Very true," Patty smiled as she looked down at all of them. </p>
<p>"Wait does that mean I'm the only one that doesn't have dad qualities?" Eddie snapped and they all laughed. </p>
<p>"Well only one of us can be the daddy in the relationship," Richie laughed and the other groaned loudly. </p>
<p>"I'm going to dump you within 24 hours of us getting together, you seriously want that?" Eddie yelled.</p>
<p>“If you don’t all shut the fuck up I’m making you all wait here,” Stanley shouted as he turned to look at them. They all smirked and looked at there feet. Stanley rolled his eyes and started climbing again. After a couple of moments of silence, Richie broke it. </p>
<p>"Stans deffo the dad," Richie murmured loud enough for everyone to hear, and everyone broke back into laughter. </p>
<p>It took them a while longer to get to the clearing Stanley liked the best and they all managed to actually stay quiet until they got there. Stanley put his finger over his mouth as they reached it. It was a slightly flat ground, covered by some trees, but it was next to the cliff edge so there was a large drop in front of them. When you looked out, you could see the whole of the national park and sometimes get a glimpse of the birds flying into the horizon. They all unloaded their bags and sat with there feet near the edge, looking out into the sky. </p>
<p>Stanley passed out all the old binoculars that he hoarded over the years and after staying quiet for a while, they finally got a glimpse of a Brown Thrasher flying up and down, batting it’s small wings as it sang. Stanley passed his own binoculars to Patty so she could look, a small smile creeping across her face as she saw the small creature swoop up and down. It wasn't necessarily a rare bird, but it was there first bird watching experience, so Stanley didn't mention the fact he saw them most times he came up the mountain.</p>
<p>“Wow,” she muttered, making Stanley breathily laugh. But instead of looking at the small songbird as well, he looked across his friends and his wife. He looked at Mike who was grinning as he looked through binoculars, the dimples on his cheeks showing. He passed the binoculars to Bill eagerly who smiled when he caught sight of the bird. Eddie was sitting between Richie’s stretched out legs as he looked through the binoculars. Eddie was leant back into Richie’s chest and Richie pressed his cheek into the side of Eddie’s face and let his eyes close for a moment, not caring about the bird or the sight in front of them. Beverly was smiling as she moves the binoculars for Ben, trying to help him find the bird. She gently laughed as he made an "<em>oh</em>" noise as he found the bird. </p>
<p>Stanley Uris could tell you about most birds. He could tell you about why they looked the way they did and about why they behaved the way they did, and even if he didn’t necessarily believe in the old wives tales, he could tell you what they symbolized. Stanley Uris thought he didn’t understand people. But as he looked at his friends, he could finally understand why the smiled through the pain that they all had suffered through. They all did it for each other. The laughed, danced, joked and smiled through the darkest of times to support one and other. But now they could let go of the pain that they had all held inside. </p>
<p>Stanley smiled as he watched all of his childhood friends. He corrected himself in his mind. <em> Friends</em>. No childhood, they were his life long friends. Best friends. Although they said they hadn’t changed much, Stanley could see that they were far from predictable and far from simple. But all Stanley cared about is that he finally got to see them being true to themselves and finally was able to see them be happy. He could finally be happy after all the years of keeping himself hidden away. Stanley Uris liked birds and he realised he loved his friends even more. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>If you enjoyed, please leave a comment, it really keeps me motivated!!!</p>
<p>Also, you can follow me on Tumblr/Twitter @bellarosewrites x</p></blockquote></div></div>
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